Sorry about the delay in sending this out to you, but I have been in St. Louis all week with, blissfully, no Internet connection. The most fun thing about Missouri is that I had not been there before so therefore could tick it off my list, and my company paid for the privilege. When asked what I most wanted to do there, I said it was to visit the very point where the Missouri and Mississippi rivers joined, the confluence, and it is damn cool. Few people venture that far north in St. Louis County, so I was told. It is beautiful, and it is also the point where Meriwether Lewis and William Clark left the known world, sailed west and made sure California was safe for Posh and Becks. It’s all history!
On Tuesday I went to watch the St. Louis Cardinals, which plays a sport called baseball that we know as rounders. No one did much rounding, as the score ended 3-2, and even so, after the eighth innings, we were told the coach was going to leave, with was surreal. And we were not the only ones leaving. It reminded me of those Newcastle fans who left when Arsenal were winning 0-4, only to miss on another slice of epic history when the Barcodes did the unthinkable and equalised (us vs. West Brom?) Even if West Ham—er—give up a two-goal lead and are now losing by two, I am not leaving. West Ham to the 92nd minute! Or if we’re playing one of the Big Four, to the 98th minute or until such time as any of the four of them equalises.
As I knew you’d be proud, to the game I wore claret n’ blue, and even sung my colleagues our club song. Incidentally, the Cardinals play—quite sensibly—in red, as do the birds it is named after, but during the 80s, the team flirted with a light blue. This did not last long, but light blue and scarlet “retro” shirts still do a fair business in their club shop…so my West Ham top did not look too out of place. Damn!
West Ham Utd. 2 Manchester Utd. 4 (English Premiership), Saturday, April 2, 2011.
I mentioned to someone at halftime that the scoreline of us 2, them 0 reminded me a little too much of the Game That Will Not Be Mentioned, when señors Carragher (own goal) and Ashton gave us a commanding lead with two fortuitous goals. We lasted well in the Utd. game, but none of us supporters looked shellshocked at the end, and the “other” scoreline of West Ham Corners 0, Man. Utd. corners 19 rather told the story. Apparently, this Utd. fan standing next to me (yes, he might have polluted my shadow) said that Utd. have not scored from the corner spot all season. Interesting.
Carlton Cole continues to be an enigma. His run towards the ball that did lead to the first penalty was so slow that I wondered if he remembered where he was supposed to be going.
Man of the Match—Roberto da Costa I thought our Portuguese-soon-up-on-charges played very well, neutering all Utd. players’ crosses. It might have been inevitable that we’d play deep by our level of skill (Man. Utd dominating, especially on Valencia’s wing) as opposed to our formation (Demba Ba and Cole up front). And Utd.’s fourth goal was deflected off a Hammer and then shot through Da Costa’s legs—not an error on his part.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
McCarthyism, April 14, 2011
Benni McCarthy has left the Hammers by mutual consent, and Carlton Cole has his knuckles wrapped over Twitter comments. McCarthy—now there was good money spent. His wages plus severance works out to about $100,000 per game, and anyone who watched him completely scuff the ball when having a good opportunity to score earlier this season will remember that for that game he only played 14 minutes, making that $100,000 rise considerably. He’ll probably be picked up by some lowly Championship team, score a couple of goals and then have time off to investigate the nightclubs of Barnsley, Doncaster or Scunthorpe. Cole’s crime was to joke to his three Twitter followers that ihe immigration authorities would be out in full force outside the recent England-Ghana game, and that the only way to escape the dragnet would be to paint the flag of St. George on your face and hope for the best. This is interesting. I do not suppose that I am not ignorant of all the dire, unnecessary, primitive repercussions of racism, but it strikes me that this is a little funny as Cole is black. That said, when the flag of St. George is slapped on your boat race, doesn’t that make you white? It is a dangerous, slippery slope to laugh this all off as merely the result of people not having a sense of humour, but I do rather think a warning along the lines of, Mr. Cole, you are a professional football player (well, sometimes), and your actions do have an effect on those who might not find your humour humorous. Hopefully common sense will prevail, as it must this Saturday against Aston Villa.
I have just given Thomas Hitzlsperger the captaincy of my fantasy team from Robin Van Persie, so I am predicting a fine win for the Hammers. The supreme importance of this game must have been hammered into the boys. Another question. It’s easy to say that the international break had a profound affect on West Ham, and other more lowly teams, as we have lost two games since it, with two goals for (both being penalties) and seven against. Is it such a royal pain? I’d say it might be, for training with international squads is different than training for domestic teams and quite often West Ham Players merely warm the bench or do not even make the team, merely the squad.
Bolton Wanderers 3 West Ham Utd. 2 (English Premiership), Saturday, April 9, 2011.
It is hard for me to do an analysis of this game, although our defending looked shocking, as the computer feed we watched this game on was iffy to say the best. Annoyingly, the action (inverted commas as far as the Hammers were concerned) kept jumping back, just so that we could see how bad we were three times. We all sort of drifted off, as we recognized pieces of tameness we had seen before. That said, we certainly looked better in the second half, and Demba Ba was unlucky not to score with a superb hooked shot to the crossbar and a header brilliantly saved by the Bolton goalie.
Man of the Match—Honestly, who could say? Did anyone stand out?
I have just given Thomas Hitzlsperger the captaincy of my fantasy team from Robin Van Persie, so I am predicting a fine win for the Hammers. The supreme importance of this game must have been hammered into the boys. Another question. It’s easy to say that the international break had a profound affect on West Ham, and other more lowly teams, as we have lost two games since it, with two goals for (both being penalties) and seven against. Is it such a royal pain? I’d say it might be, for training with international squads is different than training for domestic teams and quite often West Ham Players merely warm the bench or do not even make the team, merely the squad.
Bolton Wanderers 3 West Ham Utd. 2 (English Premiership), Saturday, April 9, 2011.
It is hard for me to do an analysis of this game, although our defending looked shocking, as the computer feed we watched this game on was iffy to say the best. Annoyingly, the action (inverted commas as far as the Hammers were concerned) kept jumping back, just so that we could see how bad we were three times. We all sort of drifted off, as we recognized pieces of tameness we had seen before. That said, we certainly looked better in the second half, and Demba Ba was unlucky not to score with a superb hooked shot to the crossbar and a header brilliantly saved by the Bolton goalie.
Man of the Match—Honestly, who could say? Did anyone stand out?
International Break, March 22, 2011
Sorry for the lack of an email last week, but there was no West Ham game and I was cavorting around Martha’s Vineyard (Massachusetts, for those with no idea or interest). England beat Wales 0-2, which was no surprise, but what happened after we went up by two after 14 minutes. No one else wanted to score? James Tompkins played in the U21 squad that beat Iceland 2-1, and then ex-Hammer Stuart “Pyscho” Pearce went ballistic, shouting that he should be allowed to play the likes of Jack Wilshire and Andy Carroll, cognisant of the fact but perhaps not wanting to voice it, that these players’ managers are always non-English. So’s his boss, but there you go.
No Hammers had much to do in the international break, although another ex-Hammer 9and one many of you wished we kept), James Collins looked like he was playing Sunday-league football in the Wales-England game. He was all over the back legs of Ashley Young to give us the first goal, a penalty, which he could hardly complain of; and then he was hopelessly slow and dimwitted in his positioning to allow Darren Bent the second.
Tottenham Hotspur 0 West Ham Utd. 0 (English Premiership), Saturday, March 19, 2010.
This was an exceptional performance by the Hammers, and I thought it was going to mirror the 0-1 victory against Arsenal at the Emirates, almost four years to the day in which I write. For those of you who watched that game through interlocking fingers, Arsenal had 2,761 shots on target; West Ham had one, and we won. Spurs came out all-systems-go, and West Ham was kept often in defence very well. Our midfield was nonexistent, at least in midfield, but everyone did their bit at the back, and Rob Green and the four defenders were all immense. And we could have nicked it. Carlton Cole is lacking confidence and should have rounded Heurelho Gomes with only him to beat; and Demba Ba had a great shot well saved by the Portuguese shot-stopper.
Man of the Match—Wayne Bridge Experience does count wonders when playing the big teams (are we all okay with calling Spurs a big time?), and Bridge was superb throughout. Spurs posed a threat down the two wings, but that threat was met adequately by Lars Jacobsen and Bridge.
No Hammers had much to do in the international break, although another ex-Hammer 9and one many of you wished we kept), James Collins looked like he was playing Sunday-league football in the Wales-England game. He was all over the back legs of Ashley Young to give us the first goal, a penalty, which he could hardly complain of; and then he was hopelessly slow and dimwitted in his positioning to allow Darren Bent the second.
Tottenham Hotspur 0 West Ham Utd. 0 (English Premiership), Saturday, March 19, 2010.
This was an exceptional performance by the Hammers, and I thought it was going to mirror the 0-1 victory against Arsenal at the Emirates, almost four years to the day in which I write. For those of you who watched that game through interlocking fingers, Arsenal had 2,761 shots on target; West Ham had one, and we won. Spurs came out all-systems-go, and West Ham was kept often in defence very well. Our midfield was nonexistent, at least in midfield, but everyone did their bit at the back, and Rob Green and the four defenders were all immense. And we could have nicked it. Carlton Cole is lacking confidence and should have rounded Heurelho Gomes with only him to beat; and Demba Ba had a great shot well saved by the Portuguese shot-stopper.
Man of the Match—Wayne Bridge Experience does count wonders when playing the big teams (are we all okay with calling Spurs a big time?), and Bridge was superb throughout. Spurs posed a threat down the two wings, but that threat was met adequately by Lars Jacobsen and Bridge.
4 Hs - February 25, 2011
4Hs—Holiday, Happy Hour and the Hammers. Sounds like a pencil does 4H, and West Ham certainly came out leaden (where do I come up with this stuff?) against a team that looked like us but luckily did not capitalise in the manner we did.
Not much Hammers news this week, and I have certainly been busy. West Ham is desperate to offload Chunks, otherwise known as Benni McCarthy, and suddenly-off-the-boil Henrita Ilunga, to anyone, and there was a chance Sheffield Wednesday might come to our rescue, but then they realised that these two players are awful.
And literally just as I am writing, it looked as though Sporting Prague and former West Ham colossus Tomás Repka were on their way to the last 16 of the Other European Contest, when in the dying seconds Rangers equalized for the second time and thus went through on the away-goals rule. The away-goals rule changes for every competition, so it seems, so I am sure there were some Scots who were not sure they had gone through, just as we were not sure why Carlton Cole’s first goal against Burnley stood—if it was not disallowed for being offside, surely it should have been disallowed for handball or for being crap.
West Ham Utd. 5 Burnley 1 (FA Cup 5th Round), Monday, February 21, 2010.
The Hammers had a relatively easy time of this. Yes, Burnley had a few chances early on, but its talisman, on-loan-from-United Chris Eagles was continually forced wide by a defence that is not as bad as some make out. Winston Reid appeared out of his depth (even if he was playing against a Championship team for a Premiership one) despite a very-well taken headed goal and a spectacular header off the line that would have made the score 4-2 and caused some nervous jitters, especially as we all remember leading Burnley 5-0 recently. Maybe the idea is to only allow Reid to use his head. Use your foot, son, and you’ll never play in the East End of London again!! With my clairvoyant insight, I was telling someone how Wayne Bridge is playing a lot better, and I think he is, but then he did that ghastly bit of “defending” that resulted in Rob Green booting the ball against the back of Tyrone Mears (which is more than Tyrone Mears did for West Ham) and onto the head of a Burnley striker, who scored.
Is there something wrong in putting the ball behind for a corner? I guess that players are so concerned that the resulting dead ball will end in the net, they’d rather do almost anything else.
Cole’s second goal was masterful, onside, a ball scooped down from the ninth floor and a shot dispatched into the roof of the net in fine style.
Oh, yes, and Freddie Sears scored another goal when all danger is over. The only goal he has scored that has been important was years ago on his debut against Blackburn Rovers. Come on, Freddie, score some earlier on. Sears was allowed to run through the Burnley defence by some neat shielding and torso flick-on by Jonathan Spector, and as we know no one is getting past that mean, all-business Skinhead from Chicago.
Man of the Match—Thomas Hitzlsperger It’s a little worrying that West Ham players score on their debuts—Sears, Demba Ba, Robbie Keane—as they seem hardly to score again. Keane is out injured for a month, but Ba played well in the Burnley game. And now Hitzlsperger. The match-day announcer even announced him as Der Hammer, so the pressure was on, and he came up with the goods, a spectacular shot that wobbled a bit but was wonderful nonetheless, and it certainly eased the pressure. More, please, Herr Deutschland.
Not much Hammers news this week, and I have certainly been busy. West Ham is desperate to offload Chunks, otherwise known as Benni McCarthy, and suddenly-off-the-boil Henrita Ilunga, to anyone, and there was a chance Sheffield Wednesday might come to our rescue, but then they realised that these two players are awful.
And literally just as I am writing, it looked as though Sporting Prague and former West Ham colossus Tomás Repka were on their way to the last 16 of the Other European Contest, when in the dying seconds Rangers equalized for the second time and thus went through on the away-goals rule. The away-goals rule changes for every competition, so it seems, so I am sure there were some Scots who were not sure they had gone through, just as we were not sure why Carlton Cole’s first goal against Burnley stood—if it was not disallowed for being offside, surely it should have been disallowed for handball or for being crap.
West Ham Utd. 5 Burnley 1 (FA Cup 5th Round), Monday, February 21, 2010.
The Hammers had a relatively easy time of this. Yes, Burnley had a few chances early on, but its talisman, on-loan-from-United Chris Eagles was continually forced wide by a defence that is not as bad as some make out. Winston Reid appeared out of his depth (even if he was playing against a Championship team for a Premiership one) despite a very-well taken headed goal and a spectacular header off the line that would have made the score 4-2 and caused some nervous jitters, especially as we all remember leading Burnley 5-0 recently. Maybe the idea is to only allow Reid to use his head. Use your foot, son, and you’ll never play in the East End of London again!! With my clairvoyant insight, I was telling someone how Wayne Bridge is playing a lot better, and I think he is, but then he did that ghastly bit of “defending” that resulted in Rob Green booting the ball against the back of Tyrone Mears (which is more than Tyrone Mears did for West Ham) and onto the head of a Burnley striker, who scored.
Is there something wrong in putting the ball behind for a corner? I guess that players are so concerned that the resulting dead ball will end in the net, they’d rather do almost anything else.
Cole’s second goal was masterful, onside, a ball scooped down from the ninth floor and a shot dispatched into the roof of the net in fine style.
Oh, yes, and Freddie Sears scored another goal when all danger is over. The only goal he has scored that has been important was years ago on his debut against Blackburn Rovers. Come on, Freddie, score some earlier on. Sears was allowed to run through the Burnley defence by some neat shielding and torso flick-on by Jonathan Spector, and as we know no one is getting past that mean, all-business Skinhead from Chicago.
Man of the Match—Thomas Hitzlsperger It’s a little worrying that West Ham players score on their debuts—Sears, Demba Ba, Robbie Keane—as they seem hardly to score again. Keane is out injured for a month, but Ba played well in the Burnley game. And now Hitzlsperger. The match-day announcer even announced him as Der Hammer, so the pressure was on, and he came up with the goods, a spectacular shot that wobbled a bit but was wonderful nonetheless, and it certainly eased the pressure. More, please, Herr Deutschland.
Celebration Day, February 16, 2011
“Celebration Day” was last Friday when West Ham was all but given the keys to the new Olympic Stadium with handy 400-metre running track and a lifetime supply of unwanted, unsold 2012 Olympic mascots, Wenlock and Mandeville, who sound like a couple of West Ham January transfer-window buys that we will not see until late April due to one thing or another.
As you know, the founder of the modern Olympic Games, Baron Pierre de Coubertin de la Julian Faubert, visited the Shropshire (Central-West England for those you not from there) town of Much Wenlock in August 1890 (coincidentally, the same month Kieron Dyer got his first hamstring injury) and was impressed with the Sports on the Village Green and thus decided to globalise it a little…anyway, that’s where Wenlock comes from, but Mandeville? As a nipper, I was always hearing about Jimmy “Jim’ll Fix It!” Saville raising funds for Stoke Mandeville Hospital, and apparently, this is where the second mascot gets his name from. Each also has only one eye, and they never look like they know where they are going. If it was up to me, I’d name them Marlon and Harewood. All very strange…but anyway, the stadium is ours, unless Leyton Orient gets its way with its connected friends in the corridors of Parliament.
Orient think West Ham will be the death of them, but we all know West Ham will take less time being the death of West Ham, without the need to cause hardship on anyone else.
I remain in two minds about the new stadium. My actions down the pub when we scored our third goal against WBA—chairs scattered, beer spilt, Sean scattered—speak for my passion for our club, but I never was a regular at the hallowed turf, so I cannot speak for how much that particular patch of grass will be missed, but on the other hand, I do not know enough about football-economics to state categorically that a move has been done in order for us to get to what is—cliché time—the "next level." 30,000 people paying £40 or 60,000 paying £25? That’s if we have these numbers interested.
That all said, this remains our only double of the season—beating Spurs twice now!
And do you know that Thomas Hitzlsperger now is eligible to play!!!!
West Bromwich Albion 3 West Ham Utd. 3 (Premiership), Saturday, February 12, 2010.
The first half was the most abject display of defending I have ever witnessed. Yes, Matthew Upson is injured, and Henrita Illunga is, too, although he has not been on fire this season, but deary me, me ol’ cocker! Winston Reid is a schoolboy. He was so off the pace of the game that when I mentioned to someone he was playing at a Championship level, the immediate reply was that I was wrong—he’s playing at a level of the division below that.
Yes, we came back admirably, but if West Brom striker Osaze Odemwingie was in the form of the beginning of the season, when he was scoring goals for fun, we would have lost that game. He had one chance when he just turned Reid inside out, and only a poor strike straight into the arms of Rob Green saved us from all our resilient work being made undone.
Certainly, Carlton Cole’s goal was also the result of atrocious defending, or at least idiocy on the part of the West Brom defenders not to realise that that black chap lurking all on his own to the right—yes, that Piquionne fellow—has scored 11 Premiership goals in a season and a half and might be a little dangerous. Even Demba Ba’s second goal was made because Ba effortlessly pealed back off his “defender.”
It was interesting to hear Cole’s post-match commentary, in which he was talking about Scott Parker’s inspirational halftime talk (where was manager Avram Grant?). After he explained how all the Hammers started crying (and after a first-half performance like that, I would have been to…actually, I was), he said, “of course, being a professional football player, you should always have that belief in you anyway…” Wow, I thought, he’s actually thinking! Which gives me a little hope for the rest of the season.
Man of the Match—Demba Ba scored two goals, and goals get points, a precious point. His first goal had a hint of handball to it, every time I have watched the highlights, but that said, no one on the West Brom team appealed, so maybe it was just the angle. By far the best of our three goals was the Cole one.
Even when we were down 3-0, I was saying we’d win 3-5, but I have had more than 37 years supporting this madness, so I continue to be optimistic as the alternative is so unimaginable.
As you know, the founder of the modern Olympic Games, Baron Pierre de Coubertin de la Julian Faubert, visited the Shropshire (Central-West England for those you not from there) town of Much Wenlock in August 1890 (coincidentally, the same month Kieron Dyer got his first hamstring injury) and was impressed with the Sports on the Village Green and thus decided to globalise it a little…anyway, that’s where Wenlock comes from, but Mandeville? As a nipper, I was always hearing about Jimmy “Jim’ll Fix It!” Saville raising funds for Stoke Mandeville Hospital, and apparently, this is where the second mascot gets his name from. Each also has only one eye, and they never look like they know where they are going. If it was up to me, I’d name them Marlon and Harewood. All very strange…but anyway, the stadium is ours, unless Leyton Orient gets its way with its connected friends in the corridors of Parliament.
Orient think West Ham will be the death of them, but we all know West Ham will take less time being the death of West Ham, without the need to cause hardship on anyone else.
I remain in two minds about the new stadium. My actions down the pub when we scored our third goal against WBA—chairs scattered, beer spilt, Sean scattered—speak for my passion for our club, but I never was a regular at the hallowed turf, so I cannot speak for how much that particular patch of grass will be missed, but on the other hand, I do not know enough about football-economics to state categorically that a move has been done in order for us to get to what is—cliché time—the "next level." 30,000 people paying £40 or 60,000 paying £25? That’s if we have these numbers interested.
That all said, this remains our only double of the season—beating Spurs twice now!
And do you know that Thomas Hitzlsperger now is eligible to play!!!!
West Bromwich Albion 3 West Ham Utd. 3 (Premiership), Saturday, February 12, 2010.
The first half was the most abject display of defending I have ever witnessed. Yes, Matthew Upson is injured, and Henrita Illunga is, too, although he has not been on fire this season, but deary me, me ol’ cocker! Winston Reid is a schoolboy. He was so off the pace of the game that when I mentioned to someone he was playing at a Championship level, the immediate reply was that I was wrong—he’s playing at a level of the division below that.
Yes, we came back admirably, but if West Brom striker Osaze Odemwingie was in the form of the beginning of the season, when he was scoring goals for fun, we would have lost that game. He had one chance when he just turned Reid inside out, and only a poor strike straight into the arms of Rob Green saved us from all our resilient work being made undone.
Certainly, Carlton Cole’s goal was also the result of atrocious defending, or at least idiocy on the part of the West Brom defenders not to realise that that black chap lurking all on his own to the right—yes, that Piquionne fellow—has scored 11 Premiership goals in a season and a half and might be a little dangerous. Even Demba Ba’s second goal was made because Ba effortlessly pealed back off his “defender.”
It was interesting to hear Cole’s post-match commentary, in which he was talking about Scott Parker’s inspirational halftime talk (where was manager Avram Grant?). After he explained how all the Hammers started crying (and after a first-half performance like that, I would have been to…actually, I was), he said, “of course, being a professional football player, you should always have that belief in you anyway…” Wow, I thought, he’s actually thinking! Which gives me a little hope for the rest of the season.
Man of the Match—Demba Ba scored two goals, and goals get points, a precious point. His first goal had a hint of handball to it, every time I have watched the highlights, but that said, no one on the West Brom team appealed, so maybe it was just the angle. By far the best of our three goals was the Cole one.
Even when we were down 3-0, I was saying we’d win 3-5, but I have had more than 37 years supporting this madness, so I continue to be optimistic as the alternative is so unimaginable.
West Ham's Bid Best for Children, February 9, 2011
The headline this morning is “West Ham’s Bid Best for Children,” which confused me, thinking initially it had something to do with Mssrs. Hines, Sears, Stanislas and Noble. But no, it’s to do with the Olympic Stadium and how West Ham going there would result in an eruption of peace, education and improved living conditions for millions of currently impoverished, illiterate and war-mongering East End kids. Or something like that.
I remain torn between staying at Upton Park and going to the new Five Ring Circus of Advanced Sporting Excellence, known by some as its acronym, FRICASSEE, by others as the Olympic Stadium. As someone who does not go to Upton Park regularly (after all, it is north of the river, away from the safety of Southeast London), my views are more than likely worth the same as Avram’s when it comes to buying new players. I do remember being able to touch the net from my front-row standing spot once, which I still remember as being cool.
There is a sense that if we move, we can build for the future, but that is an argument that I am sure contains a million potholes.
Let’s also make sure we survive this season first, and that must start against a West Brom side that just sacked its manager Roberto Di Matteo, who everyone said was a decent, nice chap…which is why he had to go and didn’t stick it.
West Ham Utd. 0 Birmingham City 1 (Premiership), Sunday, February 6, 2011.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, to paraphrase the film Jaws, we come unstuck, and it does look as though the Jaws of Relegation are widening. I refuse to give up home and confidently expect us to beat the Baggies on Saturday 0-6. And our away form does seem to be a little better than our home, with the idea that we do seem to chase wins away from Upton Park. Our forwards in this game had no bite, and our midfielders, despite composure from Scott Parker, do not seem to have a plan as to how to get the ball forward. Again, you wonder both how the goals will be made and where they will come from.
Added to this was the disappointment of Wolves doing something no one else has done this season, no, not let in more goals than the Hammers, but beating Manchester Utd., and Wigan remembering once again how to score goals. Four days before this game, the sun was shining in the east, but now the moon has waned, and the clouds are brewing (how’s that for three unrelated, strained meteorological metaphors). Chances are the weather will change again, and this time West Ham have to realise there’s a second rainbow after the first (wow, this really is stirring stuff).
Man of the Match—Can you come up with one? I can’t. Lars Jacobsen remains solid, so I’ll give it to him. Well done, Lars.
I remain torn between staying at Upton Park and going to the new Five Ring Circus of Advanced Sporting Excellence, known by some as its acronym, FRICASSEE, by others as the Olympic Stadium. As someone who does not go to Upton Park regularly (after all, it is north of the river, away from the safety of Southeast London), my views are more than likely worth the same as Avram’s when it comes to buying new players. I do remember being able to touch the net from my front-row standing spot once, which I still remember as being cool.
There is a sense that if we move, we can build for the future, but that is an argument that I am sure contains a million potholes.
Let’s also make sure we survive this season first, and that must start against a West Brom side that just sacked its manager Roberto Di Matteo, who everyone said was a decent, nice chap…which is why he had to go and didn’t stick it.
West Ham Utd. 0 Birmingham City 1 (Premiership), Sunday, February 6, 2011.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, to paraphrase the film Jaws, we come unstuck, and it does look as though the Jaws of Relegation are widening. I refuse to give up home and confidently expect us to beat the Baggies on Saturday 0-6. And our away form does seem to be a little better than our home, with the idea that we do seem to chase wins away from Upton Park. Our forwards in this game had no bite, and our midfielders, despite composure from Scott Parker, do not seem to have a plan as to how to get the ball forward. Again, you wonder both how the goals will be made and where they will come from.
Added to this was the disappointment of Wolves doing something no one else has done this season, no, not let in more goals than the Hammers, but beating Manchester Utd., and Wigan remembering once again how to score goals. Four days before this game, the sun was shining in the east, but now the moon has waned, and the clouds are brewing (how’s that for three unrelated, strained meteorological metaphors). Chances are the weather will change again, and this time West Ham have to realise there’s a second rainbow after the first (wow, this really is stirring stuff).
Man of the Match—Can you come up with one? I can’t. Lars Jacobsen remains solid, so I’ll give it to him. Well done, Lars.
New Players, January 11, 2011
A couple of players have arrived West Ham's way in this transfer window, to be added to Wayne Bridge, who played a very decent game against Everton last Saturday, I thought. The first is Demba Ba ("Demba Ba ba ba ba ba ba" to the tune of the Muppets theme song, I think, is what we'll chant when he scores his first hat trick against City tonight) who comes from German club TSG 1899 Hoffenheim, on loan until the end of the season. Of course, everyone says that at that time, they will look at him with the viewpoint of signing him permanently, but that doesn't mean anything in the modern game, because if he turns out to be brilliant, we might not be able to afford him anyway. He has some goals under his belt, including two for his country, Senegal. Senegalese players are very sane and never cause training-ground rumpuses. They're level-headed and never refuse to turn up for training camp because they want to, say, move to West Ham after first failing a medical for Stroke City. With Luis Boa Morte fitting effortless in with Ba, these two Black Sheep (sorry, and it's not as though this joke has not occurred to everyone anyway) almost guarantee the Hammers Champions League football next season. At least it means one partially injured player hailing from Germany or a German side will perform for us, as who knows when Thomas Hitzlsperger will ever appear?
The other is Middlesbrough player Gary O'Neil, who I remember as a decent midfielder, although he looks very distressingly like another Gary who played for the Hammers ("played" is perhaps the wrong word), Breen. Let's hope he's far better, and he comes in as replacement for Valon Behrami, who is off to Fiorentina imminently, although with Jonathan "Skinhead" Spector now scoring goals for fun, who knows if a place is open to O'Neil.
...and here's an odd quote. Mssrs. Gold and Sullivan are not going to the Birmingham game tonight. Says Sullivan, "I don't want to offend anyone by not going but I can't face doing that journey back if we lose." Thanks for the overriding support. That must make the lads feel you are really behind them. Then again, at least we do not have to look at him sulking in that ridiculous hat of his.
Everton 2 West Ham Utd. 2 (Premiership), Saturday, January 22, 2010.
I cannot remember the time before we have been up twice in the same game. The big brouhaha was when striker and goalscorer Frederic Piquionne was sent off, and he has to be the first player ever to get his marching orders for two yellow-card offences of "lip" and "hurdles." There is a rule about that, and he had to go, but before then everyone watching the game around me (or beside me, because it's not as though other West Ham fans create a protective circle around me; it was just a choice of phrase) remarked that he had been playing very well in defence, too. I did notice that West Ham smothered the opposition with five or six defenders whenever they threatened, and this is the kind of thing the good teams do. But one defending lapse after Piquionne was in the bath was when Everton player Osman just about kept the ball in play, nutmegged a Hammer and then crossed it to create their second equaliser. It did feel a little like three points lost, even if we'd have settled for a point before things started.
We managed to get a decent feed down at Lunasa's...computer feed, not egg n' chips twice--although we did miss Spector's goal that was quite an excellent conversion. Keiron looked after us very nicely down there.
Man of the Match—Luis Boa Morte. Boa Morte will always give 100 percent, and I thought he played very well during this match. One criticism is that he doesn't ever think of the possibility that when he has the ball, one of the opposition might think it a good idea to take it off him. Aren't we a different team when Scott Parker is playing and Mark Noble realises that.
The other is Middlesbrough player Gary O'Neil, who I remember as a decent midfielder, although he looks very distressingly like another Gary who played for the Hammers ("played" is perhaps the wrong word), Breen. Let's hope he's far better, and he comes in as replacement for Valon Behrami, who is off to Fiorentina imminently, although with Jonathan "Skinhead" Spector now scoring goals for fun, who knows if a place is open to O'Neil.
...and here's an odd quote. Mssrs. Gold and Sullivan are not going to the Birmingham game tonight. Says Sullivan, "I don't want to offend anyone by not going but I can't face doing that journey back if we lose." Thanks for the overriding support. That must make the lads feel you are really behind them. Then again, at least we do not have to look at him sulking in that ridiculous hat of his.
Everton 2 West Ham Utd. 2 (Premiership), Saturday, January 22, 2010.
I cannot remember the time before we have been up twice in the same game. The big brouhaha was when striker and goalscorer Frederic Piquionne was sent off, and he has to be the first player ever to get his marching orders for two yellow-card offences of "lip" and "hurdles." There is a rule about that, and he had to go, but before then everyone watching the game around me (or beside me, because it's not as though other West Ham fans create a protective circle around me; it was just a choice of phrase) remarked that he had been playing very well in defence, too. I did notice that West Ham smothered the opposition with five or six defenders whenever they threatened, and this is the kind of thing the good teams do. But one defending lapse after Piquionne was in the bath was when Everton player Osman just about kept the ball in play, nutmegged a Hammer and then crossed it to create their second equaliser. It did feel a little like three points lost, even if we'd have settled for a point before things started.
We managed to get a decent feed down at Lunasa's...computer feed, not egg n' chips twice--although we did miss Spector's goal that was quite an excellent conversion. Keiron looked after us very nicely down there.
Man of the Match—Luis Boa Morte. Boa Morte will always give 100 percent, and I thought he played very well during this match. One criticism is that he doesn't ever think of the possibility that when he has the ball, one of the opposition might think it a good idea to take it off him. Aren't we a different team when Scott Parker is playing and Mark Noble realises that.
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