Very Important West Ham United Information
The news was so dire last week I did not have sufficient strength to write, but a week is a long time in politics and football, so I return. West Ham survived, as you know, but the manager, Gianfranco Zola, did not. This was not a surprise, and although everyone says that he’s a really nice chap—they say this seconds after saying he is to get the boot—his record is woeful, and he had to go. Now people are saying that he is bound to bounce back and be the success everyone thinks he will be, but why they think this I could not tell you. The very bottom-place club, Portsmouth, also said goodbye to its manager, Avram Grant, who once managed Chelsea, but not because they wanted him to go, just because he obviously does not relish next season having to play lower-level opposition such as Doncaster, Norwich and Scunthorpe. He is the bookmakers’ favourite for being the new manager of West Ham, which is why I am mentioning him. Managers act much in the same way as CEOs. They financially ruin a club/business, run it into the ground, spend money that really was not there, oversee the firing of countless staff, get a huge golden handshake when they are fired and then step into the next wonderful job to repeat. It happens all the time. So now, the players see who will come in and who will then leave. All clubs go on pre-season exhibition-match tours, and if you’re invited along, then perhaps you can breathe a little easier. As you also know, three teams come up from the division below, two automatically. The last team has to play home and away semi-final games and then a one-match final at a neutral ground. The teams taking part in this are the teams that ended in positions 3 to 6, and it just happened that it was the sixth-place team, Blackpool, who got through. This is quite a story, a small side from an unfashionable seaside town in Lancashire. Blackpool is kind of the Las Vegas of England, although why anyone would now go there when you can get on a £29 flight to Barcelona is beyond me. Blackpool also play in tangerine, which will at least provide some colour, even if its football will not. It has not been in the top flight of English football since 1971, and in 1983 it almost dropped down to the ”minor leagues.” In the 1950s four of its players played for England, including one our greatest, Sir Stanley Matthews, so it is fun to see them back, as opposed to the losing finalists, Cardiff, who have a nasty reputation for having hooligan fans (not that West Ham do not).
17 days to the World Cup finals!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
English Premiership; Sunday, May 9, 2010
Upton Park, East London
West Ham Utd. 1 Manchester City 1
This was the last game of the season, a tepid affair between two teams who had little to play for. Former West Ham goal scorer, Carlos Tévez, who now plays for City, was on record recently stating that he had no desire to score the goal that saw West Ham be relegated, but thankfully for him—and certainly for all us Hammers fans—the events of recent weeks made that a moot fear, but it still came as a surprise when the game started with Tévez sitting on the substitute’s bench. He did not play until something like the 65th minute and then did little. West Ham got to a great start when it went ahead in the 17th minute thanks to a clever heel-kick by Alessandro Diamanti that allowed Luis Boa Morte to chip over the ongoing goalkeeper. It was very exciting, well, at least for four minutes until our generally useless defense allowed the smallest player on the pitch to leap up and head into the far corner of the net. The next hour was largely pointless. Thank goodness the season is over. We survived by one spot, albeit having five points more than the 18th-placed team, that is, the last team to be relegated.
So, now all leads to the World Cup finals. Do you need to be told that this happens only once every four years and is the largest sporting event on earth? 32 teams qualify over two years out of something like 168. This is the time when we fans suddenly care about players we care not for over the last 48 months, when, for instance, suddenly Manchester Utd.’s Wayne Rooney must be moved around in bubble-wrap and have his every desire catered to immediately.
Tragedy Corner
New York Flyers’ own Brian Mayor is suffering today, so if you see him, gentle words only please. For his believed Grimsby Town ended, despite a valiant last push, second from bottom of the bottom-most league, League Two, and thus must spend at least one year in the Conference division, what some people call—mistakenly, probably, as these teams are relatively well financed—the nonprofessional league. They lost their last match 3-0 to Burton Albion, so it matter little what fellow strugglers Barnet (Cockney rhyming slang for “hair,” by the way, as in Barnet Fair (I assume once a huge day out but now no longer)) did. The Mariners have gone the way of Davy Jones’ Locker, a joke I am sure Brian is chuckling away at, but I think they have enough money to say at their stadium, Blunder Park, or should that read Blundell?
West Ham Utd. 1 Manchester City 1
This was the last game of the season, a tepid affair between two teams who had little to play for. Former West Ham goal scorer, Carlos Tévez, who now plays for City, was on record recently stating that he had no desire to score the goal that saw West Ham be relegated, but thankfully for him—and certainly for all us Hammers fans—the events of recent weeks made that a moot fear, but it still came as a surprise when the game started with Tévez sitting on the substitute’s bench. He did not play until something like the 65th minute and then did little. West Ham got to a great start when it went ahead in the 17th minute thanks to a clever heel-kick by Alessandro Diamanti that allowed Luis Boa Morte to chip over the ongoing goalkeeper. It was very exciting, well, at least for four minutes until our generally useless defense allowed the smallest player on the pitch to leap up and head into the far corner of the net. The next hour was largely pointless. Thank goodness the season is over. We survived by one spot, albeit having five points more than the 18th-placed team, that is, the last team to be relegated.
So, now all leads to the World Cup finals. Do you need to be told that this happens only once every four years and is the largest sporting event on earth? 32 teams qualify over two years out of something like 168. This is the time when we fans suddenly care about players we care not for over the last 48 months, when, for instance, suddenly Manchester Utd.’s Wayne Rooney must be moved around in bubble-wrap and have his every desire catered to immediately.
Tragedy Corner
New York Flyers’ own Brian Mayor is suffering today, so if you see him, gentle words only please. For his believed Grimsby Town ended, despite a valiant last push, second from bottom of the bottom-most league, League Two, and thus must spend at least one year in the Conference division, what some people call—mistakenly, probably, as these teams are relatively well financed—the nonprofessional league. They lost their last match 3-0 to Burton Albion, so it matter little what fellow strugglers Barnet (Cockney rhyming slang for “hair,” by the way, as in Barnet Fair (I assume once a huge day out but now no longer)) did. The Mariners have gone the way of Davy Jones’ Locker, a joke I am sure Brian is chuckling away at, but I think they have enough money to say at their stadium, Blunder Park, or should that read Blundell?
Players Who Play for Your Favourite Team? No. 1—Luís Boa-Morte
Terence Baker Fearlessly Finds Out.
Boa Morte is a bit of a joke at West Ham, it must be said. He shows all the right commitment, but his shots usually end up 30 feet above the goal and if one person can be assured of being seen screaming at the referee at some devious indiscretion to the dignity of his very person, you can bet on him. He has not played for West Ham since the last game of last season, due to injury, but manager Gianfranco Zola rates him. Of course, his name is translated from the Portuguese as “Good Death.”
Boa Morte is a bit of a joke at West Ham, it must be said. He shows all the right commitment, but his shots usually end up 30 feet above the goal and if one person can be assured of being seen screaming at the referee at some devious indiscretion to the dignity of his very person, you can bet on him. He has not played for West Ham since the last game of last season, due to injury, but manager Gianfranco Zola rates him. Of course, his name is translated from the Portuguese as “Good Death.”
Thursday, May 6, 2010
English Premiership; Sunday, May 2, 2010
Crave Cottage, West London
Fulham 3 West Ham Utd. 2
Carlton Cole scored a goal at both ends, West Ham now having scored won-goals in two consecutive games. We did claw back to 2-1, but then Fulham scored a third, and it was game over, rather disappointing considering Fulham have not beaten West Ham at Fulham since 1966, the year England won the World Cup featuring a team comprising three West Ham players who played for what is considered the best Hammers side of all time. Also considering that Fulham have their eyes on other prizes, having beaten German team Hamburg to get to the final of the UEFA Cup, a staggering achievement for a side of their size. They came back to beat Hamburg, too, and Hamburg were confident of reaching the final that is top be played next week at, coincidentally, at Hamburg’s own stadium. Now the Hamburgers have to suffer the indignity of watching a team few have ever heard of play on their own soil. Anyway, back to the Hammers. As we lost this game by only one goal, it meant that for us to be relegated Hull had to cancel out a negative goal difference of 23 goals, that is they now had to win something like 12-0 and 11-nil in their last two remaining matches, the first of which happened on Monday. They drew that game 2-2, Wigan—who West Ham beat last week to effectively seal our survival—equalizing with seconds to go. This result means that West Ham cannot now go down. Now starts the inquiry as to why we were so bad this year and how we can avoid all this pain and hair loss next season. This upcoming Sunday is the last game of the season, with every club playing at the same hour. Chelsea are one point above Manchester Utd. I will avoid Nevada Smiths where both sets of these fans likely will turn crazy at some point.
Fulham 3 West Ham Utd. 2
Carlton Cole scored a goal at both ends, West Ham now having scored won-goals in two consecutive games. We did claw back to 2-1, but then Fulham scored a third, and it was game over, rather disappointing considering Fulham have not beaten West Ham at Fulham since 1966, the year England won the World Cup featuring a team comprising three West Ham players who played for what is considered the best Hammers side of all time. Also considering that Fulham have their eyes on other prizes, having beaten German team Hamburg to get to the final of the UEFA Cup, a staggering achievement for a side of their size. They came back to beat Hamburg, too, and Hamburg were confident of reaching the final that is top be played next week at, coincidentally, at Hamburg’s own stadium. Now the Hamburgers have to suffer the indignity of watching a team few have ever heard of play on their own soil. Anyway, back to the Hammers. As we lost this game by only one goal, it meant that for us to be relegated Hull had to cancel out a negative goal difference of 23 goals, that is they now had to win something like 12-0 and 11-nil in their last two remaining matches, the first of which happened on Monday. They drew that game 2-2, Wigan—who West Ham beat last week to effectively seal our survival—equalizing with seconds to go. This result means that West Ham cannot now go down. Now starts the inquiry as to why we were so bad this year and how we can avoid all this pain and hair loss next season. This upcoming Sunday is the last game of the season, with every club playing at the same hour. Chelsea are one point above Manchester Utd. I will avoid Nevada Smiths where both sets of these fans likely will turn crazy at some point.
Players Who Play for Your Favourite Team? No. 1—Robert Green
Terence Baker Fearlessly Finds Out.
No. 1—Robert Green
It is not hyperbole to suggest that Robert Green, our and England’s goalkeeper, has kept us in the Premiership for another season. Some of his saves have been spectacular, but none have been so important as his fingertip save against a 30-yeard pile-driver against Wigan last week, which rebounded off the crossbar. Joining the Hammers from Norwich City, where he played 223 times, he is the only West Ham player who has not missed a single game in four years, now having chalked up 139 appearances. He also is likely to be the first choice for England at the World Cup, despite only playing for the national side nine times, although he must have thought often his chances were diminishing every time West Ham’s defence let in another goal. It’s his job to pick the ball back out of the net! The opposite thinking could be that he is a sharper goalkeeper from being constantly under pressure. The song sung about him is a spoof on Kermit the Frog’s tune, “It’s not easy being green.” For our Green, it is easy being green.
No. 1—Robert Green
It is not hyperbole to suggest that Robert Green, our and England’s goalkeeper, has kept us in the Premiership for another season. Some of his saves have been spectacular, but none have been so important as his fingertip save against a 30-yeard pile-driver against Wigan last week, which rebounded off the crossbar. Joining the Hammers from Norwich City, where he played 223 times, he is the only West Ham player who has not missed a single game in four years, now having chalked up 139 appearances. He also is likely to be the first choice for England at the World Cup, despite only playing for the national side nine times, although he must have thought often his chances were diminishing every time West Ham’s defence let in another goal. It’s his job to pick the ball back out of the net! The opposite thinking could be that he is a sharper goalkeeper from being constantly under pressure. The song sung about him is a spoof on Kermit the Frog’s tune, “It’s not easy being green.” For our Green, it is easy being green.
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