Very Important England National Team Information 6/07/10

Very Important England National Team Information

The World Cup is four days away, and the newspapers are picking up on everything remotely connected with the biggest sporting tournament on earth. Expect ridiculous stories on players’ superstitions, peccadilloes and haircuts.

June 7, 2010; Moruleng Stadium, Lesetlheng, South Africa

Platinum Stars 0 England 3

This was the last warm-up game for England before the Big Clash against the Americans on Saturday. The PSs, a local first-division side in South Africa, missed a penalty one minute after Jermaine Defoe opened the scoring for England, and then, despite a little bit of uninspired play, England took the bull by the horns and came out easy winners thanks to goals by out-of-contract Chelsea midfielder Joe Cole (an ex-Hammer) and Wayne Rooney, of which so much is expected. Rooney’s goal was quite wonderful, I have heard, so I look forward to seeing it on some video Website very soon.

England has already changed its captain twice this year. The first change was axing John Terry (who never played for the Hammers but was signed to the club as a youth protégé) for his off-the-pitch shenanigans with a lingerie model (Terry will still be in the side), and this week came the news that new captain Rio Ferdinand ( an ex-Hammer) has injured his ankle and is very unlikely to play, so now the role falls to Steven Gerrard, who is a superb attacking midfielder but one we hope will not be weighed down by his new responsibilities. The bonus is that Gerrard never played for West Ham in any capacity so therefore is a decent footballer.

West Ham News

It’s easy to forget that life had to carry on for club sides like our beloved West Ham. First things first, as was expected, Avram Grant, recently at demoted Portsmouth, where it was considered he did a fine job despite them going down (massive financial debt; several seemingly uninterested owners within a year; still, however, finalists in the prestigious FA Cup final), was announced as the new manager of our side. His first piece of work was the signing of 28-year-old German Thomas Hitzlsperger on a three-year contract. Known as the Hammer (how apt!) for his ability at striking the ball hard form long range has recently been at Lazio, where a new manager chose to ignore those players who could not speak Italian. Before that he was at German side Stuttgart, and he has also played for Aston Villa in the Premiership and the national German team, for which he played 51 times, although, perhaps worryingly, not at the upcoming finals.

Terry Needed a Rest Before Month-Long Football Frenzy

I high-tailed it down to Curaçao for five days of pre-football relaxation. Can you imagine the worry and butterflies of the next few weeks! Therefore, I stopped off at the wonderful Lodge Kura Hulanda in Dorp Westpunt where I went scuba-diving six times and saw 10 news species of birds (not at the same time). I liked the northwest coast of this small island very much, its pocket-handkerchief beaches and great dive sites that throw up the occasional turtle, Green moray and juvenile Drumfish, which might be the coolest looking fish ever. Capital Willemstad has little to it, apart from the UNESCO riverfront buildings and the pontoon bridge that you can remain on as it swings on a hinge a complete 90 degrees. I had to run starting at 6 a.m., or it gets too warm, but this was an epic run up and down hills accompanied by Crested caracara, Crested bobwhite quails and Ruby-topaz hummingbirds. Two trips of note were to snorkel into the Blue Cave, where the light makes every water molecule bounce in turquioiseness and a massive lobster scuttled away, and to sail to Klein Curaçao, Curaçao’s second island, an uninhabited speck with a forlorn, crumbling lighthouse and a rusting tanker.

Terry Watches the Football

When: Saturday, June 12; 2:30 p.m.
What: England vs. USA (World Cup group stage)
Where: Jakes Saloon (9th Avenue at 22nd and 23rd sts.), Manhattan

Notes: The game starts at 2:30 p.m., but it will be packed—as I think every pub will be—so if you want to come down, come down at 1 or before; in fact, I have been told that the pub opens at 9:30, and as Argentina play Nigeria at 10, I’ll be there then.