Spelling "Lyke a Too-Year Owed"

Dear Hammers,


“I spel lyke a too-year owed,” said former West Ham manager Harry Redknapp as he was hauled in front of Justice Wheelbarrow at the Acton Assizes, or wherever Mr. WheelerDealer is trying to get off from the accusation of diddling the taxman. Perhaps Hammers would be more interested in accusations of underhand manoeuvres concerning the Olympic Stadium, whether you are in favour of West Ham moving there or not. Harry’s latest legal countermove is to tell everyone he pays huge amounts of taxes, and I have to say it is all very entertaining. Did I really read that he received a five percent commission when certain players were signed? Yes, I did — http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-16698153 — and it was actually a point of contention in the trial. Redknapp claims he was owed 10 percent on the sale of Peter Crouch (sounds like a tall story to me — ouch, sorry!), but was only paid five, which I assume disappeared out of the UK. Strike me down with one of Iain Dowie’s weak shots off target, but is this not odd? Why would the manager get anything when a player is sold? I certainly do not understand the inner machinations of today’s Finance Football or Salesmanship Soccer.

Anyway, there remains the idea that ‘Arry buys high and sells low, but looking at his record at Upton Park, it transpires that he spent £53 million, but raised in sales $72, which is not bad business for the bricks and mortar, if not the league position. He brought in Paolo di Canio, lest we forget, but I am sure you’ll be thinking now, yes, but he sold Rio Ferdinand for $18 million (almost exactly the difference between the two numbers above) and bought whom? How could you forget the names of the Tenacious Trio: Regnavold Soma, Svetoslav Todorov and Titi Camara. I am sure like me you have posters of all three on your wall. The latter (and you can move away from the screen to have a good laugh here) was quoted on signing “I've come to West Ham to play, play, play - and score, score, score.” Redknapp also bought two other (there are more, I’m sure) forgettable players in Paolo Futre and goalkeeper Ian Freur. I have a CD by Freur, no, not him, but an 80’s band who had a minor hit with “Doot Doot” and actually—years before Prince—had a squiggle as a name. Understandably high-street record shops hated this, so the band decided the squiggle should be pronounced “Freur,” and a great record it is, too. It is far less useless than is Ian. The reason I have gone in a large circle is the following amazing facts: now, right now, the Las Vegas-born Freur is the assistant manager at U.S. champions LA Galaxy, while Camara is the manager of the national team of the nation of Guinea, which is currently competing in the African Cup of Nations. Somehow all this does not seem fair.

Transfer news? We’re in negotiation for current Rangers striker Nikica Jelavic, a Croatian who scores a lot. Of course, the “several other teams are also looking at purchasing ________,” so who knows what will happen. Manager Sam Allerdyce is quoted as saying he is happy if no one was to come in before the end of the transfer window, which is days away.

p.s. The London article (mentioned in last week’s dispatches) I sent the link to was not able to be opened by all of you, so I heard, and a PDF is too large to send to all of you. If you’d like to see it, and the mention in it of our team, please email me. Please tell me what you think.

Championship; Saturday, January 21, 2012; Upton Park, East London

West Ham Utd. 2 Nottingham Forest 1

And why would Big Sam worry when other teams keep upending our players in their penalty boxes and Nobby Noble has us remembering those Halcyon Days when Ray Stewart took the spot kicks….well, not quite, as the two of the three penalties in this and the last match the goalkeeper was millimetres away from saving. It is a little worrying that we are not scoring real goals, but I shall not be ungrateful to six points out of six and a top-spot position above the flailing Southampton. I predicted their demise, and it’s happening. Cardiff seem to be biting, though, although they were losing against cash-strapped Portsmouth and the weekend looked for a moment as though it would be a perfect one.

Bottom line is that you can only get penalties if you are knocking at the door (cliché one), so it’d be hard to say we were not moving in the right direction in this game. Top is top is top, and long may it remain so.



The Next Match

Championship; Tuesday, January 31, 2012; Portman Road, Ipswich, Suffolk

Ipswich Town vs. West Ham Utd.

I’ve always liked Ipswich, except when we play them, and they have been very pleasant to us in all those play-off games where they must have been sick of the sight of Bobby Zamora. I have fond memories of watching Kevin Beattie and Russell Osman when I was a kid, although Paul Mariner’s efforts for England soured me of him.

This will be a tough match, but I am going for a 0-2 score line, with at least one “real” goal scored. Ipswich have not won once in the last five games and have a tendency to lose 3-1 both at home and away.Delete ReplyReply ForwardSpamMovePrint Actions NextPrevious

-Terrence B.